10/28/2015

Grief has layers to it and it looks different for each person.The death of a child impacts a marriage in ways only explainable after you have experienced that reality. A marriage surviving is challenging even for those with the strongest of foundations. Due to the various ways individuals grieve, it is finding the balance of allowing your mate to grieve the way they were designed yet maintaining a level of intimacy that undergirds, supports and infuses a fresh sustaining power in the relationship. I don’t have a clock for when or if this ends or when there will be a shift as we can only live day by day. Even though it is has only been 20 months since the passing of our oldest we have had to fight to maintain the foundation of our marriage as we turn to God and communicate our feelings with one another. The emotions along with the physical energy used in and throughout the grief process is overwhelmingly exhausting so there is very little reserves left and thus you may find yourself potentially facing a stranger in your marriage at the end of the journey. That is not our heart’s desire so we intentionally fight for the “US” in we!  Not only are we grieving the loss of our beloved son, but we are grieving the loss of who “we” were together then. When our son passed a part of us did as well and that part is forever removed from our physical grasp here. I think in every loss we experience here there are hopes, dreams and a piece of us goes with it. We can never can go back nor should we try. The Word encourages us to persevere moving through and forward as He is doing a “new thing” (Isa. 43:19). So together we need to embrace this “new thing” knowing that God will provide for us throughout the  process. My man and I want the depth, width and height of our friendship/marriage to grow beyond what was and become more than what is at the moment. So we cry out to the Lord that “our healing shall spring up speedily; His righteousness go before us and the glory of the Lord be our rear guard (Is.58:8). That He will establish us and guard us against the evil one (2 Thes.3:3). That no weapon formed against us shall succeed, and we will have justice against every courtroom lie ( Isa.54:17). The Lord will continue to comfort us through our troubles (2 Cor. 1:3-4), and as we pass through the waters, God will continue to be with us and as we pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over us. As we continue to walk through the fire we will not be burned and the flames will not set us ablaze ( Isa.43:2). That the spirit will continue to help us in our weakness as we do not know what we ought to pray but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express (Rom.8:26). I am thankful for these scriptures as they pour out hope when hopeless and purpose in the pain. I pray you know the hope and the one who gives graciously claiming and receiving the healing balm He has for you. Through His Word He resuscitates us as He breathes life and power into our very spirit. Remember sweet ones, the victory has already been won! I so wish I could sit and listen to your story, embrace and love on you. Even though I don’t have that opportunity I am assured we will finish this thing together in Him! 

Much love to you dear ones!