6/12/2017

Since God knows what niche we are to fill, let us trust Him to shape us to it. Since He knows what work we are to do, let us trust Him to drill us to the proper preparation.
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Streams in the Desert

​I haven’t written in several months as I have been under the sheltering umbrella of our Lord allowing Him to minister to my soul. My health was significantly compromised in the fall when I had some dental work done. I had a severe reaction to the glue used on a bridge I had replaced. The doctor did not believe it could be the glue but having lived through nine years of chronic illness from 1986 -1996 with the same symptoms, I knew what I was dealing with, and it was overtaking my body. When this happens, it affects my emotional, physical and mental state causing my defenses to be down and inability to think with clarity. However, God stepped in and gave me the courage to fight to have the bridge immediately removed before further damage. Thankfully the doctor put aside his medical position and acted accordingly based on the information I provided and my physical state. Within twenty-four hours of the removal,  there was significant improvement health wise, but as I would find out, the battle was not yet over. Once my body has had an allergen invade that it cannot fight off, my organs performances are compromised, and it is a catalyst that causes trauma to my body.

I have spent the past several months inside due to accelerated histamines, chronic asthma, organs incapable of proper functioning, and a plethora of other chronic issues causing fatigue. I have been to numerous specialists, and that in itself has been exhausting as each has been puzzled and uncertain on how to proceed based on the multitude of complications and allergens medically. Nonetheless, God has His work He is performing in and through these situations.

It’s a matter of whether I allow Him full rights or whether I fight what He is doing. I choose to give Him full rights!

It doesn’t mean I give myself over to the symptoms and illness but that I continue to live surrendered letting Him renew my soul as I sit with Him gleaning things afresh. Even though I long to be healthy physically, it is more important to have a well-nourished soul that includes time with the Lord in praise, worship, praying and soaking in His Word.

As Steve Fuller reminds us from Desiring God:
​“Healing can be good, but so can lack of healing. If God is our greatest good, then what makes something good is whether it brings us more of God. So being healed of a sickness can be good because it can bring us more of God by showing us his power, mercy, and goodness. But not being healed can also be good since it, too, can bring us more of God by drawing us even closer to him. That’s what Paul experienced with his thorn in the flesh, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Corinthians 12:9) So if God chooses not to heal me, it’s because sickness will bring me even more of his all-satisfying presence than healing would have brought me. In that case, even though I lack healing, I do not lack any good thing, because the sickness is how I will experience the most joy in God. Since God is my all-satisfying treasure, then what makes something good is whether it brings me more of God.”

​During this season of chronic illness, it is equally important to surround myself with a healthy environment and healthy people. It is a time to reinforce appropriate boundaries. Removing any toxicity from my life and being with other sisters/brothers to mutually feed and nourish each other souls is key. It is essential to listen to my body and care for it as the temple God designed. I have learned in these times the importance of saying "no" without apology or explanation to the requests of others. It contributes to establishing good health mentally, spiritually and physically.

I am reminded to enjoy the beauty God has surrounded me with EVERY DAY and take the time to soak it in as it too attributes to my soul’s health. Being sick teaches me the importance of living in each moment instead of waiting for a healthier one. We may not be able to control the conditions, situations or the illnesses that we face but we can trust our God is shaping us for the proper preparation for His kingdom here and eternity. 

If you are struggling with a chronic illness or any physical setback look at the gift you have of time with the Lord and glean all you can as the audience of one! May you feel the Lord’s lavish love and His abundant grace to face each moment victoriously!  All my love to you precious ones!