5/6/2016

It was a time when I wanted community but it was not what the Lord was affording me. He wanted to make sure I understood the importance and significance of the business at hand so He removed potential distractions away from interfering with our time of preparations. It was an intense and heavy season and even though quite often we do not see our situation through His lens, He is faithful to bring us to the other side with great clarity! In those moments, He reminds us how jealous He is for us. I am thankful in a world where so few prioritize and pursue me that He’s in the business of pursuing me with an intense and relentless passion. He longs to protect, prepare and if necessary…push us onward or through the process to the finish. In order to do so, He has to seize our attention and that may mean taking us to a deserted and quiet place in order for us to walk into a land of sustenance.

So after gaining my full attention, I found myself searching His presence to quench the heaviness that lay on me during the years of 2007-2011. He was preparing me for a move of which initially, I thought was a physical move but He made it clear the move or movement as it became was all encompassing: spiritual, emotional, mental and physical. It would change the landscape of my life and my family as we had known it. But knowing my God as I do, I was excited about what it was He was going to do even amidst the angst in my spirit. I wanted to make sure that whatever was to come I was prepared so I gave Him my undivided attention: seeking, soaking and savoring the scriptures and sinking deeper in love with His tender mercies, big love and clinging to and claiming every promise that He gave me.  During those years I grieved and mourned the loss of: relationships with mine and my husbands family, relationships with certain friends, the fact that my family would never look like the family I had dreamed of ( this was a continuum from earlier years), the brokenness of the church, pastors who lived and taught inaccurate theology and its’ effects on my kids, the caring for and passing of my father, my mother’s declining mental health and the inability to share with her as I desired, the  day to day relationship of two of my close friends, my oldest leaving for college, the preparation that my oldest would die in a car accident early in life, the passing of my precious niece, the innocence of my children being ripped away, the pain and loss my children had suffered, the isolation and desolation of the journey, and even though it sounds crazy- replacing our suburban. 

So in November 2009 the emotional reservoir which had already been processing a multitude of losses burst open right in the middle of the dealership when my husband communicated that we would need to replace our suburban. I am not a crier by nature and I am not one to attach to inanimate objects but I remember like it was yesterday sobbing and shaking in the dealership when my man said we needed a newer vehicle. I just couldn’t contain myself and as the tears trickled into a steady stream, my hero of a husband wrapped his arms tightly around me and said, “honey, we will keep the suburban until you are ready to part with it but we need another more reliable vehicle.” I just stood hemmed into his body sobbing and nodding okay and thanking him for understanding and for the gift of time to adjust. Through broken sobs I explained to him it wasn't about the vehicle but what the vehicle represented. It was about the rich life-giving, life defining and life changing relationships that were cultivated, nurtured, and enhanced creating a tapestry of memories between us and our children. There were rich conversations about: scriptures, theology, the challenges of living as a christian; praise and worship times, my oldest asked to receive Christ in that car, singing and dancing to music; visiting my parents/friends, serving others, traveling on family trips, pajama rides, ice cream outings, Krispy Kreme runs, and the Christmas light nights enjoying hot chocolate and cider… it was everyday life that created an overflow of love and laughter solidifying our family relationships. It wasn’t about the car it was what the car represented and I knew this was a defining moment life changing moment for me and our family. Our home represented all this but we weren’t selling our home…YET!  So this was another climatic moment in my life of choosing what Christ had for me instead of demanding my way and pleading for Him to do things my way. Even though the Lord had graciously been preparing me, I felt as if I were being ripped to shreds layer upon layer exposing the raw tender places of my soul. Only God knows what to do with us and how to minister to us in those moments. The Lord’s comfort rested upon me assuring me of His presence and that even though I was walking through the fire the flames would not consume or burn me. (Isaiah 43:2) God was calling me in His most gentle way to let go of what was behind but also what was before me. In the process of moving in and through those heart-rending times spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically the Lord had repositioned me altogether as He had done a new thing. So when he prepared me to move and I did so spiritually and emotionally it did not surprise me in 2011 that we would be selling our home of 20 years and physically moving to a new state for another new thing. I can tell you I thought we would grow old in that home, have rehearsal dinners in the back yard for our kids, have a room for everyone when they came home and continue to be the meeting place for my family and friends. But God had something else in store…something better. I may have had plans in my head but He makes sure to direct our steps.

Moving is not easy but it is necessary throughout the course of this life. When asked by God to do something what is your response? Do you see His lavish love for you and His desire to prepare and equip you? Are you willing to move or allow a movement to take place or are you digging in your heels to stay where you are? Are you allowing fear to control you? Don’t you want all that He has for you? Moving can challenge our existing foundation, comfort and produce fear but Christ tells us:

For what was before, now has gone, God wants to accomplish so much more, but we need to move forward in the Lord.(Isaiah 43:18-19) I pray sweet one that if God is calling you to move which can turn into a movement that you not just walk but run in obedience to glean all He has for you. Love you!  Marcia Earhart

Father God, I thank you for pursuing me passionately in order to prepare and pave my way to move where you direct. Help me to trust you in the midst of the heavy and challenging times knowing that your ways are higher than mine. Forgive me Lord when I resist or refrain from receiving all that you have for me. Lord give me a desire to seek, soak and savor you, your word and the sustenance it is for me. Lord reveal your promises so that I may cling to them as you move me in and through this life. Oh how I love you and give praise for the relationship we have. Help me to stay the course.